Friday, March 05, 2010

you've come a long way, baby

6 years? It's been 6 fucking years?

Almost 6 years since I've been throwing random crap at this blog? Thinking back, I wonder if anything I have said has made sense to anyone? Did anyone connect with my words? Did it inspire anyone? Did it re-wire someone's brain? Did I bring forth any epiphanies? Was that even the point?

My posts usually lean towards the earnest and the melancholy, right? Why, though? Why do I come here and vomit out all this text? Is it an effort at expression? If it is, then why can't I express what I want to directly? Or is it not an expression at all; but if it isn't what is it? Do I just want to make people think?

Have I gotten you to think? Has anything I've written made you reassess a situation? Has it gotten ME any closer to whatever I was trying to do, regardless of whether I knew what it was in the first place? Is my subconscious appeased? Tell me - do you glean insights about my life when you read this? Do you sit and ponder why I wrote something, what I was thinking, what I was doing then? Do you make up little stories to substantiate the parts that you understand? Do you have vivid characters in the play that you direct in your own heads, my words being a mere catalyst to your feldgling masterpieces?

Hell, I don't even know where the hell I am going with this post.. but then, have I ever? Is this just another random smattering of text that I'm throwing out because I felt like writing? Should I just shut up now?

Did I just write a post full of fucking questions?! (I know you're going to come to a lot of conclusion based on that.. aren't you?)